How to stop comparing yourself to other successful women and embrace your own Greatness.

Confidence vs. Competitiveness! Woohhhh, Inhale/Exhale. As women this TOPIC is too REAL! We often compare ourselves to others that may appear to be more successful; while social media is the #1 tool to create a brand that may reflect who you portray yourself to be, but not who you really are. Or perhaps, only the most remarkable things about a person are shared as a method to attract what is desired. In all actuality, we ALL have struggles, insecurities and GREATNESS that lives within us all.

Repeat this Mantra: I will not compare myself to strangers on the internet.

I’m going to be brutally honest; recently, I struggled with this. I would see women dominating their fields and hustling so hard on their grind and it caused me to second guess my style of marketing and my ability to sustain an entrepreneurial livelihood. I felt less than deserving or guilty for taking a day or two off to visit a lake, watch Netflix or parlay with my children. I started to compare myself to them and felt a rush of disappointment take its toll on me. I felt unnoticed if I wasn’t invited to speak on their stage or looked upon as a colleague. In one breath, I was happy for them and admired their success but in another breath, I resented them. It felt like they had something I didn’t have and as a result, I’ll never reach a certain level of success.

This thinking haunted me for months and delayed a few of my launches. I was so busy watching them from the side-lines and feeling small that I did nothing. Then one day, it dawned on me that there is only one me and only I can do what I am called to do. I realized there was enough to go around. Just as I compared myself to other women, other women were comparing themselves to me. One woman inboxed me of facebook and said “I know your life is perfect…etcetera, etcetera. I was taken by surprise and actually responded “You have no idea. Yes, I am a Certified Dream Coach, however, I’m also a Woman and Mother on a journey of uncertainty pursuing my dreams, while helping others do the same, etc..)  I realize that as authentic as I strive to be, I cannot control the perception others may have.

The cure to this madness was Clarity. I went inward to connect to who I am and what I really wanted. I realized that my business model must include moments of peace, relaxation and downtime. I want to enjoy life in the process of building and running a business. Regardless of how I market my services, it must be an authentic representation of me.

I want you to know that: YOU are GREATNESS. Do not let anybody tell or make you feel any different even if that person is YOU. The truth of the matter is that we all have a story, purpose and journey that is individually and uniquely designed.

2 powerful women said it best!!

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt.

When you’ve worked hard, and done well, and walked through that doorway of opportunity you do not Slam it shut behind you. You reach back, and you give other folks the same chances that helped you succeed.” Michelle Obama

Remember, what is for you is already yours, if you are boldly tenacious enough to Go Get It. It’s ok to look to others for inspiration, support and guidance. Ultimately, you are your image of success. Just continue to put the work in and believe. Let’s support and be happy for one another knowing and believing that we all have what it takes to live out our Dreams.

I strongly believe that each one should teach one. When you confidently believe in your purpose and life’s mission you begin to know and understand your destiny and are willing to reach back and help another woman. None of us can make it alone. Be committed to not compete with each other but support and create success story after success story! I believe we can do this Together we can move mountains! None of us are exempt from the competitive epidemic. What do you do when you see a successful woman doing her thing? Maybe you:

  1. Criticize.
  2. Compare where you are in the story of your life to where she is.
  3. Have a motive to connect with her, only for your personal or professional gain.
  4. Become discouraged and say this can’t be you.

Whatever comes up for you….it’s ok Accept it. Set the intention to give what you want to receive. Say “Go ahead sis, do your thing” and authentically wish her well. If your core values are aligned and you see a great partnership, friendship, etc. Connect, collaborate and build together.

See yourself for your own value and uniqueness by getting so Crystal Clear about What You Want and Who YOU Are that there is absolutely no reason to compare who you are to ANYONE. Keep Believing. Keep Striving. Know your own worth. Spread Love. And by no means settle or do things that are against your core values…but know that what you admire in others another may admire in you.

If you are eager to fully embrace your own greatness. I strongly encourage you to sign-up for your Free Clarity Session.



  1. Myrtis Roolins | 15th Apr 15

    First i would like to say thank you for this topic Devonna ! Wow I just recently found myself comparing myself to others on social media and didn’t have enough courage to talk to anyone about this so I kept the feelings inside .. Thinking that others would look at me funny. I see myself often going onto social media to see what others are doing and at times I’m happy for most of them ! but at the same time I’m still wanting to be like them and have what they have or just upset because I am not like them at this time in my life .. So I ask myself Myrtis ? What kind of solution could I come up with to make myself feel better about being who I am ! So I decided to take a month off of social media and mind my own business/work on my business instead of looking and wondering what everyone else is doing…i’m doing very good it’s been 14 days as of today and I feel so much better about myself !!! after this challenge I’m going to continue to live Happy ,Walk in Faith and use all of my Gifts that God has given me… I encourage anyone that is reading this message …say to yourself every morning I believe in myself I believe in myself…

    • Devonnajp | 16th Apr 15

      Myrtis, thanks so much for your honesty and sharing. You are not in this alone. Yes, you are exactly right about believing in yourself. It starts with acknowledging, Now that part is done, the key is to continue to stay focused. Congrats on taking a breather from social media, it can be rather addictive. As you build your business, consider using hootsuite to schedule your posts, this will give your business a presence without you actually being on social media. #yourDreamCoach

  2. Alojamiento web | 16th Jul 16

    If you can t get on your own side, you never get past go. This may help you stop comparing yourself to others .

    • Devonnajp | 17th Jul 16

      I agree totally!! Thanks for your visiting the blog. Hope you subscribe to our community! 🙂

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